It was a Sunday morning at the end of September when Marianne snuck to the downstairs bathroom to take a test. It was POSTIVE! Everything we had ever dreamed about was finally happening. Instantly, we felt like we became Charlie's parents. Weeks before, we walked the beach on our honeymoon discussing baby names, one picked for a girl & one picked for a boy. Although we always knew if we had a girl, Charlotte would be called Charlie. Our pregnancy was picture perfect, aside from morning sickness and the expected aches & pains. Each appointment, scan and week went by flawlessly, she was growing so perfect and taking the most adorable sonogram pictures.  Her kicks were so mighty, strong and constant. She was playful & knew the sound of our voices & whose hand was whose and BOY did she love buffalo chicken and ice cream. Towards the final weeks, she began measuring on the bigger side - a Callahan baby after all, obviously she was going to be a little chunk. Cue the nickname "Chunky Charlie". We went for weekly scans but all was well, she was just a little chunky - a chunky baby is a healthy baby right?

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Charlotte “Charlie” Marion Krol was due to be born on June 9th, 2022. After 40 weeks and 4 days of waiting to meet our daughter, Marianne and I headed to Stony Brook hospital the morning of June 13th with signs of labor hoping that baby Charlie was ready to finally join our family. We couldn't wait to start loving on her. We already had an appointment to be induced the next day and with Charlotte measuring big it was decided that Marianne would be admitted and be induced that day (eek! it was happening! We'd FINALLY meet our little girl). Marianne and I got settled in a delivery room and the induction began and lasted through the night. Around 4am on Tuesday, June 14th doctors told Marianne it was time to push. Marianne pushed for 3 hours before a shift change came at 7am, when new doctors and nurses took over and Marianne continued to push for another hour. "SHE HAS HAIR"  the doctors said, that had to mean she was so close, that she'd be here so soon.  After four hours of pushing, we were making progress but because of Charlie’s size, it was slow.  Doctors at this point presented us with the decision to continue pushing or to opt for a C-Section.  The difficult decision was made to switch from a natural delivery to a C-Section and Marianne was prepped for surgery.  I packed up all of our things and was taken to a recovery room to wait to join Marianne in surgery. Our nurse came to get me and brought me to the OR where things were already getting underway. It was overwhelming and I began crying the moment I sat down.  I can remember hearing the doctors saying “Delivery at 10:13” followed by silence as we did not hear Charlotte crying. A few moments later we heard Charlotte let out a cry, little to our knowledge, this would be the only time we'd hear our sweet girl cry. We squeezed each other's hands tightly, finally exhaled, and both cried tears of joy. We did it, our baby girl was here. A doctor then approached me and said they were going to be bringing Charlotte to the NICU.  As they wheeled her out of the room, they paused next to me and I was able to tell her I loved her and rub my thumb across her cheek.  Some time passed and I was again approached and told that a doctor from the NICU was going to tell me what was happening with Charlotte and asked if I would like to step out in the hall or if she should come in. I asked her to come in so Marianne, even though under anesthesia, would be able to hear.  While we waited for her, the doctor from Marianne’s surgery came over to inform me that she had lost a significant amount of blood during the surgery, she hemorrhaged.  The NICU doctor came in soon after and informed us that Charlotte had had trouble breathing initially and had lost oxygen and blood flow to her brain but that they were going to try something called cooling to slow the blood flow to her limbs and allow her to get more blood flow to the brain. Everything else the doctor said went in one ear and out the other. I was then removed from the OR to wait for Marianne in the recovery room.  When Marianne was brought back to the recovery room, I was left with the impossible task of explaining what was happening and why Charlie wasn't by our side.  We continuously asked for updates from the NICU and were told over and over that Charlotte was getting settled and I would be able to visit her in a half hour, then an hour, then no answers.  A doctor then entered our room and said the most devastating words, “we think it would be best if you came bedside”.  Our entire world crashed down in that single moment, from that single sentence. The next hour was a blur as we insisted that Marianne be brought to the NICU as well and her nurses unplugged her from her monitors and wheeled her bed through the hall and into the NICU unit. When we got there we watched and waited outside of Charlotte's NICU room as doctors and cardiologists worked frantically, performing chest compressions and taking x-rays, trying to save Charlotte's life.  We sat helpless as we sobbed, screamed, and begged for Charlie to stay with us. Charlotte had initially responded to treatment in the NICU, but her heart rate and breathing had slowed and while doctors tried to get both her heart rate and her breathing steady, they could not find a way to get both to sustain.  The worst moment of our lives then came as doctors asked us if we would like to hold Charlotte as we said goodbye, they wouldn't be able to save her. We held our perfect little Charlie for what will never be long enough. She held our fingers in her tiny hands, we pinched her cheeks, kissed her forehead, and counted her little toes. She opened her eyes, to see her parents for what would be the first time & also her last. The nurses sought out Charlotte’s grandparents from the lobby and as our parents came into view expecting to meet their precious granddaughter they were met with the sight of our family being unraveled. The words "Charlotte is dying" will forever be engraved in our minds on repeat. The happiest day of our lives had unfolded into a nightmare we couldn't wake up from. For the rest of the day and into the night, the six of us held Charlotte close, telling her how much we loved her and how sorry we were. Charlotte lived for 4 hours and 49 minutes; she was 8lbs 10oz and 21 inches. Charlotte took her last breaths in our arms at 3:02 pm surrounded by absolute love and while we still do not know how or why she was taken from us, in the brief time Charlie was here her perfect face and chubby cheeks became forever ingrained in our hearts and minds. She will be missed every single day for the rest of our lives and loved by so many forever. We will forever mourn the beautiful life we had imaged for her, the adventures she'll never take and the giggles we'll never hear. We will always be her Mom and Dad.

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We invite you to explore Charlie's website & learn about the path off her cemetery that leads to a beautiful view of the Mt. Sinai Harbor where her bench is located, where to purchase her candle & how you can donate to Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep and other future charities we choose to support. Charlie's Little Free Library has officially been installed in the parking lot of Mt. Sinai Congregational Church.